I miss my family. I miss my mom's sweet heart of service, and my dad's warm embrace. I miss laughing with my brother and helping him with his homework. I miss my bed and the many-times-washed jersey sheets that come on it. I miss the comfort of my home friends, and the assurance that impression doesn't matter. And I miss beautiful silence.
I also miss feeling at home with the Lord. College life makes it extremely hard to spend lots of time with Him. I want to just rest in His arms for an hour, or a day-but I have 3 tests Friday. I'm so tired. I'm tired of being expected of so much, but not having enough to give. Of letting people down, time and time again. Never being fully understand, and not fully understanding anything. I just want to dwell with Jesus, every day, every moment, every second. I want to be fully surrounded by Him, but I'm stuck in a world that hates Him and never wants Him around. People who lie and deceive, boast and steal, fight Him more and more out of their life everyday.
This summer, I spent 10 weeks away from "home" and only felt homesick once. I have a small assumption as to why. I believe this summer was a taste of Heaven. Spending every waking moment serving the Lord, sharing life with brothers and sisters, and being encouraged every step of the way, made home not so far away. In fact, home followed us wherever we went. I was comfortable, able to trust, dwelling with the body of Christ, resting in the Giver of peace, and constantly being reminded of God's presence. There's something so incredible about that situation-too incredible for words.
So as I carry-on through this thing we call life, I long and yearn for that sense of home everyday. I anticipate next summer, to feel that embrace again, but moreover, I hope for the day when my real home will be eternal.
Is this normal? I think so.
“If I discover within myself a desire
which no experience in this world can satisfy,
the most probable explanation
is that I was made for another world” -C.S. Lewis
I agree, my friend, I agree.