It began with a nice Fourth of July celebration with my teammates. Although the bittersweet feeling of not being with my family at the lake for the holiday crossed my mind numerous times that day, it was refreshing to spend the day with some of the most wonderful people I've ever known. It also made me realize that it's okay to change things up sometimes. Great people, barbeque, and fireworks never disappoint.
The next few days dragged on as tiredness and fatigue set in, making it miserable to wake up in the morning. I missed my alarm three days in a row, but thankfully my roommates made sure I got to devo on time. I haven't been feeling well lately, and to make a long story short, after a little research, I suspected that my thyroid might be acting up. I'd hoped it was nothing, but I figured I'd get it checked out anyway. I got an appointment at a nearby family practice, and hopefully I'll get the results back soon. One thing I wanted to touch on, however, was this doctor's office. On one of the papers I had to fill out before I went in asked if I would like prayer today. I figured I'd check yes, and they would maybe mention my name to the Big Man in their prayers that evening, or maybe they'd lift me up quickly as they scanned the pages looking for my insurance card information (after all, I didn't come in for anything TOO serious). But no, before the doctor left, she asked to pray for me. She spoke such words of kindness and blessing over our ministry that I couldn't help but tear up a bit. Thanks for the reassurance of prayer warriors, Lord, we all need that sometimes.
Rewinding a bit, Tuesday night I had one of those "life-changing moments". After reading a few blogs from a missionary in Uganda that I follow, I sat in bed for probably ten minutes sobbing heartbroken tears. She speaks of her life in Uganda and the feelings she has when she comes back to the states to fundraise or visit her family. She speaks of how Christ works through her village and uses her in ways she will never understand. And finally, she speaks of her dependence on her Father, Abba. She logically can not explain where a lot of her funding comes from, how she pays most of her bills, or how she is the adoptive mother for twenty-some-odd little girls. She is totally and completely dependent on the Provider. How amazing it would be to see God's hand like that in our lives. I began to think about what that would mean for me, and it terrified me. I've felt God urging my heart more and more towards missions and serving somewhere else, but I'm so fearful. I want to be ready to follow where ever He leads, whatever that entails. The only thing that keeps me hopeful is that my very existence is dependent on the Provider. Why worry about where I am, or what I'm doing? He's sustaining my every breath. The only thing I can do is take His mission one day at a time and offer every hour, minute, second to Him.
And lastly, tonight. Have you ever been in a worship service where you felt like you couldn't do enough to praise? If you haven't, I hope you do one day. I felt like I couldn't sing loud enough, I couldn't jump high enough, and I couldn't reach far enough. I wanted to smile, laugh, cry, sing, dance, scream, shout. I couldn't hold it in. I honestly feel like my heart and soul were united with the Spirit that obviously had control of the room. But yet, in my earthly nature, I was still flawed, sinful, separated, grounded. Man, I can't wait till Heaven, for "when Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation, and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart. Then I shall bow, in humble adoration, and then proclaim: 'My God, how great Thou art!'"
But to sum this all up, it's just been a wonderful week. Without staffers, our team really had to go the extra mile and take care of each other. And we did it. Many of us were able to enter into completely opposite worlds of camp and come out with new perspectives and new found respect for our teammates.
"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many...But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be."
-1 Corinthians 12:12-18
I have an inspirational team and an indescribable Lord. Man, what a great week.