Saturday, February 18, 2012

Be Careful What You Pray For

Lord, break my heart from what breaks yours. Give me such a heart for the lost that it requires action on my part. Give me chances to be bold and help me to be bold in those times. Unashamed. That's what you ask of me. Taking up my cross. That's what you want from me. Lord, I just want to love like you and see others through your eyes. Please place people in my life that need you and need to hear your truth. I'm tired of the complacent and just getting by. I need to see you and believe that you're working in the here and now. Lord, please come.

These pleadings have been coming through my prayers for months I know, probably years. Well, be careful what you pray for.

Wednesday night I had planned on going to dinner and a movie with my sisters, but considering I had a Physics test Thursday that I hadn't done too much studying for, I decided to stay back in the Vallo. Little did I know that the Lord had orchestrated the entire evening just how he wanted it. Leaving the library after a 5-hour vigorous cram session, I run into a good friend of mine that the Lord's been putting on my heart, in my head, and in my schedule lately. We spend the next two hours chatting about life and various things, but although some of the content was forgettable, I will always remember that conversation. We began talking about some health problems that's been going on in his family lately, and suddenly I realize that this is a moment I've been praying for. You might want to know that this friend is an unbeliever, and even though he knows what I believe, we often avoid the religious topics. My stomach gets tangled and I feel as if I might puke into the bushes behind me, but Jesus saves me from that embarrassment and gives me the guts to ask if I could pray for him. Never in my life would I ever have thought that I'd PRAY with this boy. Or better yet, that he'd accept. But we prayed. And talked about God. Small spurts, of course. But we prayed. And he tells me that I am the only person in his life that has ever prayed with him and only the second person that has ever told him they would pray for him. Different worlds clashed right before my eyes, and I left our conversation so heavily hearted that I didn't care a lick about that test the next day. The Gospel was all that mattered.

The thing is, within the past month the Lord has placed me in so many situations where I had no choice but to be bold. To share about him and what he means to me. To pray with someone in their office, in Starbucks, on-stage, or on my dorm steps. Situations where I can barely breathe, because I'm so nervous, but I don't have the option to opt out. And he's been putting so many wonderful people in my life that need him and are searching for him. And it's physically hurting me that they don't know his love. I'm not sure how to handle this new nonsense going on in this little heart of mine, but I can't stop it.

Please pray for these friends of mine. Pray for them to know the love of their Creator and the hope they have in Jesus. Pray also that I would have patience and not become bitter with the Lord if things don't happen in MY timing. Or if I never get to see the fruit, that I would be able to still trust and obey.

I always believed God answered prayers, but after this month, I can't imagine ever praying with faith as small as a mustard seed. Reminders like these call for so much more.

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