I graduate from college in 6 weeks.
Wait, what?
Needless to say, there’s a lot of unknown coming my way, and
I’m not handling it too well. You see, I
have this trust issue. I trust the Lord
too much. As long as I don’t have to make a decision, I can trust God all day long
to provide for me and do what’s best for me and allow me to do His will. But when it comes to making a decision, I
crumble. I second guess. I double think. I am wrecked. What if I make the wrong one? My decision
gives me the option to fail, and I fear failure.
Of course I tell God these things. I ask for wisdom and
discernment. I beg him to just do it for me. Please God, close the doors I don’t need to walk through and open the
ones I do. Just guide my heart, God. Guide my passion. I’m so weak. I’m
such a coward. For some reason I can’t shake the responsibility I feel. I can’t
trust that He’ll provide for me even when I make the wrong decision, and I’m
fearful that my sinfulness will prevent me from being all He wants me to be.
Tonight I talked to a missionary from a country near Russia
who was visiting his family for a couple of weeks. He was called on during the youth service to
speak on his thoughts of the differences in the Christians in America and the
ones in his country. He talked about how
his American friends were going through some drama (even though seemingly less
significant than the persecution he faces daily living in a country where it is
illegal to be a Christian, but still very important), and that one thing he
noticed was that most Christians aren’t turning to Christ for help.
He said, “The question is, IS JESUS ALIVE OR DEAD? Because
if he’s alive, then we talk to him and discuss things with him and expect help
and an answer.”
In his country they have NO other choice, but to ask and
receive from God. Even the small things come straight from the Provider,
because there is no other option. How
often do we escape to movies, empty sayings, other people, or even our own imperfect
mind to try to figure things out? Jesus tells us to come to Him and that He
will provide for us, and that if we ask we will receive. He promises that to us!
So in the middle of all the chaos, confusion, and
uncertainty about the future, I urge you, along with me, to ask and believe,
and we WILL receive. We will receive the
answers we need. We will receive the money we don’t have. We will receive the
direction to pick a career. We will receive the love that He so generously
gives us. Because Jesus is dead in a
tomb with no power? No, because Jesus is ALIVE! And he has power to do
immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.
